book_of_love

Title: Family
Series: Learning From the Book of Love
Author: Lucifer
Rated: G (angsty though)

Journal entry: July 9, 2004

So she’s marked. By Sully. Which should have happened a LONG time ago in my
opinion. I can accept that it took our (my family and me) coming into the
picture to move things along and now I’m even happy for her about it. She’s
happy, I’m happy.

But to tell you the truth I just don’t think she ever got what the problem
was. I tried to explain but I have to say the only ones that seem to get it
is my family. MY family.

I say that a bit defensively. I know I do, but they are. And since it was
driven home with us so adamantly that we are NOT part of their family, I
guess I am. Defensive that is. The rest of my family is too but we don’t
tell them cause really what’s the point?

The marking wasn’t what upset me so much, ok it did but not for the reasons
you think. Not because it happened but because no one thought that we were
important enough to be told. The “family” all knew with the exception of a
few….but us? Nope, nada, nothin’.

We were told basically that we’re not family so why should we have been
told? We don’t count in their core unit so letting me or any of us know was
a moot point. So at least I could have been prepared, could have hid my
jealousy which I am big enough to admit was there….at first. But it was the
shock and then the hurt afterwards. It’s why I apologized to Scarlet, she
didn’t know, it was a surprise and in my heart I believe she would have told
me if she had known. I would have told her about my mating with Vamps….if I
had a clue beforehand. So her and me, we’re good. I think. I hope?

I don’t want anyone to be sorry but it made us see that basically anything
that happens in our family is between us so from now on it is. I accept
that. We can accept that.

Let me just say that I’m not mad at anyone. Hurt is more like it. And a bit
disenchanted? The bloom is off the rose so to speak in my eyes, in my
families’ eyes.

We’re the outsiders, the ones that don’t belong. We get that now. We can be
invited to various functions even included in trying to help with big family
things, their “family” things but otherwise. Outsiders.

Scarlet doesn’t know and I don’t really want her too, cause it just doesn’t
help. Vamps doesn’t tell Bear and Chaos doesn’t know, Val and Anu don’t tell
Tis or any of that side of their family so I guess it’s just us; me and my
family. We’re just not suited.

It’s kinda a lonely feeling ya know?

<< Vamps' ~ Luc's ~ Anubis's >>

	* Home_the Menagerie * Home_The House of Blue * Photo Album* We've Been Blessed * Ohana* Links * Title: Family Series: Learning From the Book of Love Author: Lucifer Rated: G (angsty though) Journal entry: July 9, 2004 So she’s marked. By Sully. Which should have happened a LONG time ago in my opinion. I can accept that it took our (my family and me) coming into the picture to move things along and now I’m even happy for her about it. She’s happy, I’m happy. But to tell you the truth I just don’t think she ever got what the problem was. I tried to explain but I have to say the only ones that seem to get it is my family. MY family. I say that a bit defensively. I know I do, but they are. And since it was driven home with us so adamantly that we are NOT part of their family, I guess I am. Defensive that is. The rest of my family is too but we don’t tell them cause really what’s the point? The marking wasn’t what upset me so much, ok it did but not for the reasons you think. Not because it happened but because no one thought that we were important enough to be told. The “family” all knew with the exception of a few….but us? Nope, nada, nothin’. We were told basically that we’re not family so why should we have been told? We don’t count in their core unit so letting me or any of us know was a moot point. So at least I could have been prepared, could have hid my jealousy which I am big enough to admit was there….at first. But it was the shock and then the hurt afterwards. It’s why I apologized to Scarlet, she didn’t know, it was a surprise and in my heart I believe she would have told me if she had known. I would have told her about my mating with Vamps….if I had a clue beforehand. So her and me, we’re good. I think. I hope? I don’t want anyone to be sorry but it made us see that basically anything that happens in our family is between us so from now on it is. I accept that. We can accept that. Let me just say that I’m not mad at anyone. Hurt is more like it. And a bit disenchanted? The bloom is off the rose so to speak in my eyes, in my families’ eyes. We’re the outsiders, the ones that don’t belong. We get that now. We can be invited to various functions even included in trying to help with big family things, their “family” things but otherwise. Outsiders. Scarlet doesn’t know and I don’t really want her too, cause it just doesn’t help. Vamps doesn’t tell Bear and Chaos doesn’t know, Val and Anu don’t tell Tis or any of that side of their family so I guess it’s just us; me and my family. We’re just not suited. It’s kinda a lonely feeling ya know? << Vamps' ~ Luc's ~ Anubis's >>